Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
