i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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