Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
