My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
