I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
