ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
