epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
