she was so not down for the gang bang
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
