I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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