they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do herpes really smell.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
