he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize