By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
