You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
