Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
