in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
