you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
