you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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