is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
