Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
