So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
