And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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