i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
