6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
