I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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