2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
