One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
