I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
