where does the pee come out of this thing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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