Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
