Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
