Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
