Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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