I must be too annoying 4 u.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The struggles of a small town man whore
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
