The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
