oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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