Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
