Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
