so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
