We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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