I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
