Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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