One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you made out with another girl for some wings
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize