Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
