next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
