therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
