I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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