I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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