Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
