I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
