the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
