He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
