Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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