maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
