he wants to bone in the snuggie
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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