You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize