Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fill condoms, not promises.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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