Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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