there's paper in my vomit.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
