3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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