Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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