took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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