Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
