Screwed.edu
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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