On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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