He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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